By Andrea Stevens
AFRO Staff Writer
astevens@afro.com

Same-sex marriages, blended families, single-parent homes and chosen families are reshaping modern households. 

One notable shift is the growing visibility of LGBTQ+ married couples raising children together, a right legally recognized nationally on June 26, 2015.

Married couple Jessica and Shiquita Counce have been together for eight years and married for five. They are raising three children in a blended household and shared insight into how their family functions day to day.

“Shiquita aka ‘MommyDoc’ is the provider and protector. She cuts the grass and brings home the bacon. I am also ‘Mommy’ and the caretaker. I cook, clean and manage the family,” said Jessica Counce. 

Research shows children in same-sex households experience similar outcomes to those in heterosexual households. Still, LGBTQ+ parents may face legal and institutional challenges, including issues with recognition and school support. 

For the Counce family, prioritizing quality time is a guiding principle. Creating a happy and healthy home environment is at the center of everything they do.

“Family time first, give yourself grace, strive for stability, never argue in front of the kids, eat dinner together,” Shiquita said.

She also offered heartfelt praise for her wife and advice for families navigating similar dynamics.

“Jessica is the best parent because when she’s sick or busy everything falls apart,” Shiquita Counce said, praising her spouse’s consistency and care.

She offered her own philosophy on family: “Just accept what comes with each person, always explore both ways of doing things, be honest with your intentions and speak with love.”

Raquel Martin, a licensed clinical psychologist, said healthy parenting isn’t about removing all discomfort from a child’s life, but about helping them build emotional resilience.

“It’s not your job to shield your child from every discomfort—that’s how they grow into adults who can’t handle conflict,” she said. “Your role is to model emotional regulation, set boundaries with warmth, and create emotional safety through respect and consistency.”

As more same-sex families gain visibility in media, education and public policy, legal disparities between states still create complications, particularly in custody disputes, adoption processes and healthcare decision-making.

Blended families, formed when partners bring children from previous relationships into one home, are increasingly common and shaped by their unique histories and structures.

Jerilyn Coleman, who is raising a blended family alongside her husband, understands that complexity firsthand.

“Our family is beautifully blended, rooted in love, teamwork and mutual respect,” she said.

Her household includes her husband, Devern’s teenage daughter, their toddler and a baby on the way. She said their modern setup functions much like any other family, centered on shared responsibility and intentional parenting.

“We didn’t get to this point overnight but it took mistakes, growth, maturity and developed respect from all parties,” Jerilyn said.

Having been a stepmother since her bonus daughter was just 2 years old, Jerilyn reflects on how their relationship evolved over more than a decade.

“The most rewarding part of being a bonus mom is experiencing a deep, genuine connection with a child I didn’t give birth to but love as if I did,” she said.

Their bond, she added, is one that was built deliberately, with care and mutual trust.

“That kind of love is unique because it wasn’t automatic; it was earned, nurtured and chosen by both of us.”