Your Favorite Music Tells What Childhood Trauma You May Have – Our Culture

Childhood trauma can be different. In fact, an event can be traumatic for a child if they feel insecure or scared enough for the brain to learn to adapt to these situations. That’s why childhood trauma can still haunt some people into their adult lives.

If you’ve ever wondered, “What made me the way I am? What childhood trauma might I have? Am I just overthinking?” you’re in the right place. Because music often reflects our experiences, even when we don’t consciously know they might be traumatic.

Do I Have Childhood Trauma? Checklist

Childhood trauma is highly subjective, and what’s considered traumatic or normal for some people might be totally unacceptable for others. Moreover, childhood trauma by definition is a state in which a child feels lonely, unsupported, in danger, or scared. So, many things fall within this category.

How to distinguish negative events in childhood from childhood trauma? According to the most reputable Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) online evaluation available here https://breeze-wellbeing.com/childhood/start/, trauma creates lasting neurological and psychological symptoms that disrupt a person’s independent living. Trauma can also compromise the child’s safety or identity.

The checklist below will help you sort whether your childhood experiences were traumatic or negative. It’s not a diagnosis, and if you disagree with the results, consult a mental health professional for more accurate results.

1. Your emotions feel like “too much” or “not enough” compared to others.
2. Certain situations that others can dismiss or laugh about trigger shame, guilt, fear, numbness, or disproportionate anger.
3. You struggle with relationships. This can include fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting others, people-pleasing, emotional withdrawal, etc.
4. You have trouble remembering large parts of your childhood.
5. You are highly self-critical or perfectionistic.
6. You feel responsible for other people’s emotions. Calming others, avoiding conflict, or “being the strong one.”
7. You have certain somatic/physical symptoms. Chronic tension, gut issues, headaches, weak immune system, etc.
8. You minimize your experiences by saying “it wasn’t that bad,” while other people seem to be genuinely worried about you.

If you recognize yourself in several of these points, it doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. It suggests that you show a higher likelihood that something traumatic happened in your early life, or you lacked something for typical development.

What Childhood Trauma Do I Have?

This test is developed on a reputable and evidence-based framework for understanding childhood trauma, the ACE model (Adverse Childhood Experiences), which groups trauma into categories such as household dysfunction, neglect, and abuse. It also considers your music taste that isn’t diagnostic criteria, but reflects your inner world into conscious preferences.

Here are the instructions for testing yourself:

• Honestly reflect on each statement. Does it ring a bell? Can you immediately answer, or do you need to think? Both are okay.
• Answer honestly: true if the statement corresponds to what happened in reality, and false if you can’t recall something or have memories opposite to the statement.

Important notes: There are no “right” answers. This checklist doesn’t show the quality of your childhood, whether your parents were good or bad, or whether you are a good or bad person. It also doesn’t diagnose you with anything.

Household Dysfunction

• My parents were happily married during my childhood.
• Songs about family conflict or instability (such as Family Portrait by Pink) feel exaggerated.
• I always felt supported at home.
• I didn’t feel financial pressure as a child.
• I never had a close relative who was in jail.
• I remember my childhood clearly.
• My parents or caregivers weren’t addicted to substances or alcohol.
• I strongly relate to songs about wanting to stay home and never leave the house.
• People in my household were physically and mentally healthy.
• There was no physical abuse in my childhood home.
• I listened to music when I wanted to, not when I needed to block out noise, screams, or loudness.
• My parents let me make independent choices, even if they weren’t the best.
• I never “cringe” at music about happiness and “togetherness.”
• I was happy to go back home after classes, school, or from friends.

Neglect

• I don’t relate to Lana Del Rey’s lyrics.
• My parents or caregivers always supported me emotionally.
• I knew there was somebody at home who would listen to me and help no matter what.
• When I needed to share something that seemed important to me, my caregivers listened carefully.
• I went for comfort to people, not music or artists.
• My emotions (sadness, anger, excitement) were accepted and validated.
• I was given physical affection when I wanted it.
• My parents taught me basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, and laundry.
• I regularly had clean clothes, baths, and grooming taken care of.
• My hobbies and interests were encouraged.
• I got help with homework when I needed it.
• My wishes and desires were taken seriously.
• I did household chores to help out, not to keep the household functioning.

Abuse

• • • My parents or caregivers never threatened me.
    • I was never hit, rough-handled, or screamed at as a child.
    • I was never isolated or locked away to “teach me a lesson.”
    • I was never restricted from food as punishment.
    • I was never bullied (at home or at school).
    • I didn’t feel intimidated often in my childhood environment.

• • • Songs that alternate between vulnerability and anger (e.g., You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette) feel too intimate, as if someone were sharing personal details about their life.
    • I was never shown explicit content against my will.
    • Nobody made inappropriate comments about my body.
    • I never experienced sexual assault.
    • Adults didn’t discuss their sexual lives in my presence.
    • I wasn’t forced to keep secrets.

• • Songs that tell about emotional pain, rage, and fear seem overwhelming for me.
  • My parents or caregivers didn’t compare me to siblings or peers.
  • I stopped listening to Evanescence after adolescence. 
  • When I asked adults something important, I usually got an answer.
  • I wasn’t involved in adult problems, such as finances or relationship conflicts.
  • I didn’t have to wait for adults to be in a “good mood” to ask for help.
  • I always felt like I belonged in my family.
  • My identity (sexuality, neurodivergence, mental health, gender) was accepted.

What Do My Results Mean?

• If most statements in a section feel true, that area was likely relatively safe or supportive in your childhood.
• If false statements dominate a specific section (Household Dysfunction, Neglect, or Abuse), it may point to a type of childhood trauma connected to that category.
• If you answered false to multiple sections, it often means trauma was layered rather than isolated, which is very common.

What to Do If the Test Shows I Have Childhood Trauma?

If your results suggest childhood trauma, this is not a diagnosis or a verdict. It’s information that you can use to improve the quality of your life. Below are clear, supportive next steps you can take:

• Learn about childhood trauma and its effects.

Psychoeducation shows how trauma influences your brain and body, and explains natural reactions due to these changes. So, certain “flaws” become understandable rather than “crazy.”

Studies also show that psychoeducation increases a person’s belief that mental health problems are changeable, which supports hope and active engagement in healing.

Mental health services might not be available to everyone, but mental health quizzes are free of charge and are addressed to a wide audience. Evaluations about one’s attachment styles, neurodivergence, childhood, etc., are part of psychoeducation and self-exploration.

Disclaimer: Take the results of online evaluations with a pinch of salt. They cannot diagnose you, but they can be used in the diagnostic process with a trained medical specialist.

• Set boundaries with triggering people or environments.

Limiting contact with those who repeat patterns of neglect, criticism, or control is a form of protection and an important part of the healing process. If certain people repeatedly trigger your childhood trauma, there’s no room to be a people-pleaser. Being honest with you and self-care are priorities here.

• Avoid rushing into “fixing yourself.”

Healing is not about erasing the past or becoming someone else. It’s vice versa. Letting the inner you thrive without the weight of protective mechanisms that bring more harm than good now.

• Try a healthy lifestyle to regulate the nervous system first.

Predictable routines, delicate movement, grounding exercises, and consistent sleep help your body feel safer and lay the ground for deeper emotional work.

• Use self-reflection tools intentionally.

Journal, track your mood, write one thing to be grateful about today, or create a dump place for all your thoughts. Such self-reflection helps to reconnect with your real needs and identity.

• Reach out for professional help.

Trauma symptoms might interfere with daily life, relationships, or safety. If so, it’s time to get a licensed mental health professional to help you build a structured, supportive path forward.

Even if symptoms of childhood trauma are limited just to negative self-thinking, problems in relationships, etc., you can try talking to a counselor. Especially, if you want to.